The Wonder of It All

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief. - Gerry Spence, 1929-present

I couldn't agree more Gerry, whoever you are.I have lived so much of my life within the limitation of my unconscious beliefs that wonder was generally quite foreign to me. Now it's the mainstay of my life and the final step in the Liberation Process after I've spent a moment or two questioning the beliefs that are behind any unhappiness or discomfort. It's a great place to hang out.

I wrote the other day about the difference between beliefs and feelings (thanks for your comments Tony) and today I'd like to talk more about the belief step. Just as we confuse beliefs for feelings, it's just as common to confuse beliefs with the way it is, the 'facts' of life so to speak. It's also common to miss the beliefs that are actually operating by not inquiring deeply enough. Beliefs come in layers and what we usually find on the top layers could be called secondary beliefs much of the time. Or you could get in touch with a level of wanting or longing that has been frustrated much of your life which is a signpost for a belief but definitely not a stopping place. An example of that would be when you find yourself disappointed or frustrated and you breathe into your body, into the place where you experience the sensations and you find a heaviness in your heart. So you breathe with that and you get the awareness that you really wanted to be loved and appreciated for something and it didn't happen or at least not in your perception. That desire to be loved and appreciated for something you did is a symptom of a belief.. It is pointing to something much deeper that may be a core belief that you have been trying to cope with or satisfy through certain behaviours, like doing something you think the recipient would really appreciate and love you for. The belief behind that could be that you aren't enough, you aren't loveable, you can't do enough to please the ones you love, etc. That's where you want to start your questioning and dismantling of the belief. Is it really true that you aren't enough? Is it possible that you are mistaken about that? Could that be the meaning you gave an event or situation when you were a very young child and don't even remember it? Breathe with those questions and let the light of realization shine bright right in the midst of the pain in your body. When you feel even a slight relaxing or spaciousness it's time to wonder. Wonder about what life would be like if you didn't have that belief; wonder about what is possible in the light of this realization. There are no quick and dirty answers to this wondering, it's a state of being that opens you to the flow of Life and the fullness of Being.

This may seem foreign at first but I have found it to be a great joy as I appreciate how Life shows me where  I've been limiting the flow and then provides all manner of possibility beyond. It takes lots of practice and patience and often a fair bit of wrangling to begin with but it just gets clearer and clearer and easier and faster and more rewarding as you go along. When I finally really got that it was not just OK to not know, to simply be in the clear open space of wonder, it was like stepping out into a beautiful bright sunny day, not unlike the one I am experiencing right now where the Mayday tree is blooming and life is a wonder.