Inner Abuse

We are all familiar with many forms of abuse in our world: physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and spiritual to name some of  the most common. Many of us are also aware of some of the ways we carry on the abuse we experienced in our childhood through our self talk. You might recognize phrases like: I'm so stupid, I can't do anything right, I should know better, I can't (fill in the blank). Emotional abuse could be more subtle such as the ways we learned to suppress feelings, make ourselves wrong for wanting things or being 'selfish'. Sexual abuse is often not even about actual events but rather energies that a child grows up in which are charged with the denial of sexuality. As I said these are pretty familiar to most of us.

Then there's another level of self-abuse that I only became crystal clear about last night in conversation with someone who was sharing about how they were feeling, or at least thought that's what they were doing. It was nothing new to me for sure but for some reason I saw it in a different way. I was acutely aware that whenever we get lost in 'feelings' (beliefs really) of unworthiness, insignificance, unimportance, etc we are actually unwittingly abusing the innocence within. We believe that we feel these things and so we are trapped there. How can we be gently and non judgmentally present to unworthiness as a feeling for instance when it is already a judgment against who you perceive yourself to be? There are no doubt feelings involved which would likely be some combination of sadness, fear and guilt or shame but those thoughts when we believe them and continually subject ourselves to them are like standing too close to a one of those speed bags boxers train on and getting whacked in the head over and over; kind of addles the brain after a while. Clearly they are unconscious decisions made at a time when we were trying to cope or survive unfathomable experiences in childhood so they are in and of themselves innocent too and call for compassion rather than further judgment. That doesn't mean we need to keep doing it though.

This is yet another reason for dismantling the illusion by being clear about the difference between feelings and beliefs so that we can stop the insanity and the abuse. No wonder we don't want to 'feel' things when we have them all mixed up with painful beliefs about ourselves and the world.

Is it time for you to have a different conversation with yourself, to stop the abuse? Is it time to allow a compassionate flow into the feelings and the beliefs now that you can finally see them for what they are and set yourself free of the suffering they cause?

If you sense an inner knowing that this is the next step for you, email or call me, I can help.
info@yvonneracine.com or 780-913-6466
The oldie, goldie by Billy Swan I Can Help is going through my mind so here it is for you to enjoy too.