What If It Feels Too Good?

I was having coffee with a friend the other day and in the midst of our explorations about beliefs, etc, she brought up the experience of avoiding feeling too good just as much as we avoid feeling bad. So true, yet so overlooked. Happiness is a feeling too and, as with all feelings, we have learned to be careful about how much of it we will allow.

We don't often think of the possibility that we might be feeling too good at any given time but if you honestly examine your life, you'll soon see that you probably have a particular tolerance level for feeling good beyond which you only venture for very brief periods. You wouldn't generally recognize it as such because it usually looks like a problem showing up that is robbing you of the good feelings of appreciation, happiness, joy, creativity and flow. The Hendricks (Gay & Kathlyn) have a name for this phenomenon, they call it the upper limits problem. When we start feeling too good we have an unconscious mechanism that kicks in to bring us back into the 'tolerable' zone or somewhat below it, especially when we don't know what's going on.

I remember being told not to get too excited as a kid and I've seen lots people tell their kids something similar or somehow shut them down. You know how kids get into the zone of complete joy and abandon in the moment; that can be pretty darn uncomfortable to adults around them who are not so free and joyful. For many of us that kind of energy was simply not acceptable so we soon learned that we had to control that exuberance in order to be safe or at least acceptable. We may be all grown up now but that mechanism is still in place within us.

Another way this shows up is when we are in the creative flow of ideas; they're flowing so hot and heavy that we get overwhelmed and just don't know what to do with them so we find ways of distracting ourselves or again experiencing problems to bring us back into our comfort zones. One belief that may be operating here is that we are supposed to do something with every idea that shows up and we simply cannot do that when there are so many. Another may be a thought like, 'what's the use, it won't work anyway' which is a symptom of unresolved disappointment and discouragement. Again, it may look like there's something or someone out there that comes along to stomp on our dreams but really, that can't happen unless we're already carrying the seeds of our own disappointment.  

So what do we do about this upper limit problem? Pretty much the same thing we do with any 'problem'.

• Breathe; breathe deep, expansive breaths metaphorically creating more space for all that great energy. 
• Focus; let your attention drop into your body and notice what you're feeling. Allow the breath to expand the wonderful feelings of happiness, appreciation or creativity for a moment or two. 
• Then question the thoughts/beliefs that might shut you down. Is it true that I shouldn't get too excited? Is it true that I have to do something about every idea that shows up? Really? Could those ideas be decisions I made long ago to fill in the gap of my understanding about what was going on for the people around me? Could I be wrong about there being such a thing as too much happiness/appreciation/creativity? 
• Then let the power of wonder work with the expansive feelings to open you up to the possibility of even more of the joy, creativity or appreciation flowing through you.

If you only become aware of all this after you've experienced the shut down of energy, that's OK. Work with whatever shows up in terms of feelings and beliefs and you will soon find yourself back in the flow.

Life is a wonder and it's beautiful and you are Life expressing right where you are. Look around you, is there really a limit to Life?