When There's Nowhere Else To Go

Sometimes you just get caught up in the wheel of life and find yourself spinning in a rut that doesn't seem to be going anywhere other than deeper into the muck.

When you think about it, you'll notice this often happens after periods of grace and flow when you were feeling really good and could do no wrong. Then something happens. It could be a minor irritation or a major upset that shifted the energies but chances are you didn't like it and you didn't really want to acknowledge it, you just wanted that feel good flow to go on and on and on. But it didn't and the more you tried to ignore the 'negative' energy the worse it got.

So how do you get out of this sticky cycle? The truth is something usually happens eventually to shift the energies back into a more flowing state whether you are aware of it or not. There is something you can do however to move with the energies and allow whatever has brought you down to continue flowing through instead of jamming you up. You can stop resisting the lower energies.

When we surrender to the feelings that are already there and give them loving attention instead of trying to ignore them or give them criticism and judgment, it's truly amazing how quickly they can shift. I'm not talking about surrendering to the beliefs we have about what we feel, that's what we need to question, gently mind you, but question none the less.

Our bodies are amazing messengers, telling us when something is hurting and needing some TLC. The problems arise when we want to shoot the messenger instead of saying no thanks when the messages are false (i.e. I can't, I'm worthless, it's impossible, etc.). When we appreciate the messenger and receive the gift it can move on and allow whatever possibility comes next.

The wheel of life keeps turning. The question is, is it stuck in the mud or humming along the highway.

Stillness and Movement

When all is well in your world and life is unfolding with much ease and grace what do you do?

There is such a tendency toward fixing things, dealing with problems, trying to get somewhere that it can be somewhat uncomfortable when nothing is presenting itself to be done. Sometimes when I find myself there I notice that my inner 'motor' seems to be revving a bit on the high side which is what I would have reacted to with more busy activity in the past. Now I take a breath and notice it and it quiets down, leaving me with nothing to do but appreciate what is and allow the energies to flow. Quite delicious really.

Then when the moment passes and  something else emerges, action is taken and the flow continues. Even moments of frustration are welcome as life continues to expand. These are signals of movement and change which is life doing what life does. Stillness and movement. The perfect dance.

Side Effects

I've noticed several side effects since I got really serious about doing the dismantling work. Things I used to really dislike doing are no longer issues for me. I used to hate going to Costco and actually didn't go for many years. Over the past year we renewed our membership and I go whenever the mood strikes me and actually enjoy the experience. That is amazing for me because I am not a shopper, never have been but since my resistance level toward life in general has dropped it's become a none issue.

Another thing I used to really struggle with was networking. I remember going to networking events in the 90's and feeling really uncomfortable, disliking the whole experience. Now, it's a truly fun and enlightening activity. Go figure.

The reason I see this kind of phenomena as side effects is that I haven't worked directly with my resistance to these kinds of activities; whatever the beliefs were behind the resistance were obviously the same as in other areas in my life where I did do some liberating work.

The first time I had a dramatic realization of benefits to doing deep inner work was very early on the journey. The second intense workshop I participated in back in the late 80's was when I had my first breakthrough to some very deeply buried pain. It was an awesome experience in and of itself but soon after that I realized I no longer had the life-long phobia of birds that had been so limiting for me. I intuitively knew it was done and I have not had it since. Who knew?

The point is, everything is related. You pull on one string and it affects the whole tapestry. All we need to do is start where we are and deal with what's in front of us. The key is to keep doing the work, even if you don't see the kind of results you thought you would get right away or in the specific area you thought you were working on. Life is looking after the details.

Tapestry of Life

Living The Mystery

Pondering, dismantling, wondering; where has it taken me? I'd have to say to the fullness of life.

We've moved into the latter part of August as I write this and we are deep into the fullness of summer. The crops are ripening, many of the flowers are already done, the geese and ducks on our local pond are growing up and getting ready for their long flights south. I am in a similar mode; feeling the fullness of life, the richness of what is. I am doing what is in front of me to do. I am enjoying the days and nights whether busy and quiet. I am appreciating the way Life is unfolding. What else is there to do?

Will I stay in this mode forever now? I doubt it; life is constantly shifting and changing shape. I have periods of ease and grace and other times where my engine seems to get into overdrive and I start projecting out into the future. I do find it is much easier for me to come back to the moment now when I get into this kind of overdrive. Even if I don't catch myself hanging out there in the foggy illusion of the past or future for hours or days, it is what it is and there is nothing to regret or recriminate myself about.

Every moment is a fresh opportunity for appreciation and expression in some form of life's mystery and wonders. If there should be some kind of discomfort that emerges it is a time for celebration because I have found it is yet another opportunity for an expanded experience of life which is the real driver behind the discomfort. All I have to do is go toward it rather than try to run away.

There is always a new birth in the works.

Self-Identity

Where does self-identity come from? How is it formed? I really don't know definitively because where it appears to come from and where it actually comes from are likely two very different things. The apparent source would be our childhood experiences where we 'decided' who we were based on what was going on around us and what we were told about ourselves.

In my work I often invite people to realize that their beliefs about themselves make sense given what was going on in their formative years and how they needed to give it all some kind of meaning and so they came up with the conclusions they arrived at. That's how it appears to work and I see it as helpful in the process of dismantling beliefs so that the space of possibility may be experienced.

I do have to admit, however, that my sense is that we experienced exactly what we were supposed to experience and that continues to be the case throughout our lifetime. Did my Dad leaving when I was three cause me to become so independent or was that the perfect unfolding that would lead me to the concepts I came here to experience? Did the events of the mid 80's that precipitated the end the company I had founded in the late 70's and consequently of my self-identity as 'Vonco' start a whole new journey in my life or was it Life in it's infinite dance moving the energies to create the situation? Could it really have been otherwise?


Just as studies are now showing that the brain lights up with a choice before we become consciously aware of it, by anything from a fraction of a second to a few seconds, I have long wondered if what I call 'me' made any of the decisions of my life or has what I now view as a fictitious 'me' simply been the vehicle of experience for all those 'choices'? I don't have definitive answers for these questions either but am most certainly leaning toward the latter.

So what does this imply in terms of anything we do, including dismantling the illusion? Well, it seems we will either do it or we won't, depending on what we are here to experience. The very idea that we are all here to do some particular thing like become enlightened or to experience love seems fallacious at best and downright ridiculous at the very least. We don't all have those experiences, never have. We don't all wake up, we don't all have cancer, we don't all do anything other than die. This body will eventually run its course, long or short, of that I can be fairly certain, just as this planet will run its course and every other manifestation in this universe. Other than that there seems to be a myriad of experiences being played out and I suspect it's all perfect.

Reflection of Perfection

So in those terms, I would have to say there is nothing to second guess about what has been, nothing to worry about as to where it's all going, there is only the wonder of it all unfolding. We do what we are here to do or not do. We identify ourselves as we do until we don't anymore or until it's time to realize something new. There is a perfection unfolding and we either enjoy it or we don't. These words will either resonate with you or they won't. Are they true? I don't know but I do enjoy seeing perfection reflected throughout creation.

What About Helpless and Hopeless Experiences

I've had a few interesting conversations of late where helplessness and hopelessness came up. As people shared what was happening in their lives and the lives of loved ones I became aware of feelings of sadness and frustration in myself as well as in them. I also had a very strong sense of that when I saw one of the video clips from the London riots where a young man had been injured and it looked like some people were helping him only to see them robbing him in the end. I don't know what it was about that scene exactly but I have to admit that it touched me deeply and I just cried and let the sadness wash over me.
We all have the sense of being helpless from time to time. There are times when we may react with anger, other times by withdrawing or doing whatever we need to do to distract ourselves. Sometimes depression results from prolonged experiences of helplessness and hopelessness. Some people pray and ask for help. I've long known these are experiences that need to be fully acknowledged and felt but I had been caught up in the concept that they were feelings so the best I could do was make peace with them. I still need to make peace with the feelings that show up but yesterday I started to look at helplessness and hopelessness slightly differently. What if they aren't feelings at all but rather beliefs?

There are situations that arise from time to time such as friends or family going through very difficult times or things happening in our own lives where there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to make it better. That's usually where these experiences arise.  Granted there may not be anything we can see to do about what's going on but isn't that really because we're seeing from a very limited point of view? Wouldn't it be truer to say I don't know what to do rather than fall into the trap of believing myself to be helpless or the situation to be hopeless?

Dance of Light

There a distinct and freeing shift in energy when I bring full, gentle, compassionate attention to the sadness and/or frustration in difficult situations and realize the helpless, hopeless bit is what I think, not what I feel. Now I can open to the possibilities that are always there, lurking just beyond the circle of awareness created by limited beliefs. There may still not be anything I can do on the physical level but that is only the grossest level of experience. There are many more dimensions in which consciousness operates that are indeed much more powerful and effective than any physical manipulation. What if the openness to these possibilities itself had an impact on whatever situation we were facing? We simply don't know and may never know what's going on behind the scenes. What if we didn't need to know in order to make ourselves feel better? What if the energy of compassion was what was needed and when we brought it to our inner experience that extended into the outer situation? If there is only Life and it's all connected, how could it not have an effect?

Just wondering....

Negative Pressure

We learned something a couple of years ago (from a neighbour I think) about how to cool the house down in the evening after a hot summer day. Even though we keep the house pretty closed up on hot days, by evening it can get pretty warm, even here in the cold north. I can't sleep when it's too warm so this has always been a bit of an issue for me. Many people sleep in their cool basements which is another great way to beat the night time heat. We don't do that, and I certainly couldn't do that when I lived in apartments.

Anyway, here's what you do. When the evening starts to cool and the temperature is cooler outside than in, you open one window wide (we do the kitchen window) and place a fan in the window or as close as you can get and have it blowing outside. Then you open the window in the room (s) you want cooled, usually the bedroom, and keep all the other windows closed. Within a very short time you will find the bedroom cooling to the point of being pretty darn cold sometimes.  It is absolutely amazing and quite delicious! I often wonder why I didn't know about this little trick years ago but alas I did not.

The point is if you don't find a way to blow the hot air out of the house there is often very little or no cooling even with all the windows open unless there's a cool breeze that can get in somehow. What we create with this little scenario of blowing the hot air out is called negative pressure. The hot air is blown out, sucking in the cooler air from outside. This is similar to the way wind actually works, it doesn't blow, it sucks (sounds fun doesn't it?). As the warm air rises it pulls the cooler air along with it.

That's my meteorological helpful hint of day. Now onto the metaphorical aspect which is what I find really fabulous about this phenomenon. The house full of hot air is like the psyche full of beliefs and concepts. We often spend a lot of time blowing ideas around trying to jam in new ones but unless we have a way of getting the old ideas out it's pretty darn hard to allow any cool new ideas to emerge.

Full, rounded breaths along with compassionate attention toward the feelings already lodged in the mind/body is how we begin to create space. When used along with inquiry into the beliefs that have held it all in place we create a wonderful vortex of negative energy, so to speak, that allows something new to arise. The wonder aspect of the Liberation Process is the wonderful cool breeze that refreshes us and brings with it fresh, new ideas. All we have to do then is take action in the direction this delicious new energy takes us. Way fun!

You know what else I think is really cool about this. I learned about the fan blowing air out thing around the same time I really got into dismantling the illusion in a big way. Life is so perfect!

Movements and Shifts in Energy

It's a source of constant amazement to me just how quickly energies can shift. I find that when I stop and look directly at what's coming up for me the energy frequencies rather quickly move to a higher range. If I'm feeling low energy like last week when I wrote about loneliness, the energies shift into more peaceful and flowing kinds of frequencies. Then they will oftentimes move to even higher frequencies of deep appreciation and joy for Life and everything in it.

I also notice when I'm feeling what you might call mid-range frequencies and I turn the light of awareness on them they often seem to rise as well and I get a whole being experience of lightness and appreciation.

Then there are the times when I've been feeling lots of appreciation and lightness and things come up that bring with them the lower frequencies of fear or sadness once again. And the cycles continue.

Here's the point I really want to make about movements and shifts in energy, I've observed that when I try to avoid the lower frequency feelings as they show up seemingly uninvited, they tend to hang around like bad house guests.

Sometimes I know the lower frequency energies are there and will acknowledge them to a degree but I don't immediately turn my full attention toward the feelings and the beliefs that are their inevitable companions. Then I can pretty much be guaranteed they'll find a way to get my attention no matter how long it takes and I'm not all that likely to be real happy about it in the moment. The good news is that when this happens and I finally do become fully aware and turn toward the energies that are there instead of avoiding them the process moves swiftly and smoothly into the uplifting energies once again.

It all sounds so easy in theory or as a concept doesn't it? I know only too well that it isn't all that easy to move toward what we fear when we've been avoiding feelings all our lives. It seems counter intuitive when viewed from a survival standpoint. As with so many perspectives we've adopted in the name of survival, however, there comes a point on the journey when they no longer serve us. They end up being in opposition to where we are going now if that happens to be toward a more authentic, congruent experience of life.

There is so much richness to be enjoyed when we no longer avoid. In the end it's all a beautiful dance of movement and energy.

The Eternal Dance

Phases and Feelings

The long weekend is over now and I am truly grateful for all the great moments we had out in the sun and indoors at the movies and at a live performance of Wicked which is the untold story of the witches of Oz. I particularly appreciated how they brought a whole different level of understanding as to how the two witches got to be where they were in the story of The Wizard of Oz. Quite brilliant really.

Now it's back to the business of the week and I find myself facing directly and squarely a sense of loneliness and loss that has been playing in the periphery of my awareness for the past 2 or 3 weeks. It's hard to explain so I won't really go too deeply into it other than to say that it isn't about being around people or not. I realize it's about some very old stuff that has been deeply buried. It isn't that I wasn't cognitively aware of it either, I have been for a long time, but I haven't really had access to the feelings around it which seems to be key in bringing real peace to it. That along with being able to tell myself the truth about the fact that I did not and will never have the one I lost so many years ago. In a strange and wonderful way, facing that is another level of release from the belief that was developed in childhood around the loss which translated into not being able to have what I really want. That's how those childhood decisions work; we end up projecting them onto our present and future circumstances because we didn't know what to do with the confusion and loss.
It's funny because I've done a ton of work around this and have benefited from it all yet here it is again with yet another twist to it. Laying it to rest in this way is like burying a loved one which is sad and yet poignant at the same time.

I often remind clients and friends and myself that just because we've visited and done some work with a long held belief it doesn't mean it isn't going to show up again. I can pretty much guarantee most of the the deeply held ones will in some way shape or form which is often not recognized for what it really is. I don't see that as anything being wrong but rather an opportunity to pour more compassionate attention into the well of being. Being delightfully alive means being able to be fully present and accepting of whatever shows up in me, including the deepest and darkest memories if that's what shows up. It really is all beautiful and wonder-filled when we don't make it all wrong.

Just as the four seasons bring their own unique beauty, so it is with the variety of experiences to be had in the delicious, delightful expression of life .