A Life of Compassion

All my work these days is centered around both learning and teaching self-compassion. Notice I did not use the word self-love, mainly because that is one of the many overused and over-abused concepts in the spiritual/self-help/self-realization fields. It often elicits behaviours that are really more about indulgence and self-loathing than self-love. Self-compassion is not taught in our culture and even where it is part of the spiritual teachings such as in Buddhism it is still not widely practiced on a day to day basis.

Given that compassion is about the desire and willingness to alleviate suffering one must first be able to recognize the suffering that is inherent in the human condition which is the condition we all find ourselves in as we journey through this physical experience.


As long as we're struggling, conflicted and self-critical we're likely locked into some kind of illusion. I know for myself, the (belief) illusion that I should be different than I am is one that pops up fairly regularly and I don't care how often it does, it's an idea that I have come to realize is false no matter how convincing or enticing it may appear. This sometimes shows up in the context of whether I fit in with different groups or not. I've never really felt that I fit in, starting with my family of origin. Nothing wrong with that, many of us on this journey of awareness have discovered the same thing. Where it becomes uncomfortable is when we start thinking that we should and if we don't then there's something wrong.

Spiritually speaking we are indeed all the same; one Life, one Mind, one Divinity. From the human perspective we are all unique expressions of the One with wildly diverse perceptions, experiences and purposes. I don't subscribe to the idea that we are all meant to do the same thing here, i.e. realize who or what we really are. On the contrary, some are drawn to Self-realization, some to religiosity, some to atheism, some to break out of the status quo, others to maintain it and absolutely everything in between and beyond.

So here's where the self-compassion comes in. When the struggle within pops up, do we react or respond? Do we judge, criticize, try to squelch or reject ourselves (and/or others) or do we recognize the human condition at play and respond with compassion for both self and others?  It isn't that one is the right way and one the wrong way, the real question for me is what am I called to now?

Life is really the only thing that's happening. Why not make it a life filled with compassion? Sure beats the alternative...