Monday, February 20, 2012

Breaking Through The Mist

It's interesting to observe those old familiar patterns play out when I find myself getting concerned with that which is of the world.

I have long felt that any organization, no matter how 'spiritual' or altruistic in original intention, develops an ego which is really a self-identity. Everyone who is part of the organization is part of this ego. This is not a mistake or something that is to be avoided, it is the nature of organization just as it the nature of the human experience. It is part of the evolution of consciousness to be able to see it for what it is and move beyond it rather than rejecting it.

What fascinates me about ego though is how quickly it becomes about its own survival. Much of what we do as human beings, particularly when we perceive a threat of some kind, is really based on ancient survival instinct. What we fear, however, has become distorted over time and what we think we need to fight in order to survive is really a construct of mind. So it is with structured groups or organizations as well.

Many times in this life experience I have stepped away from organizations. I have had a variety of 'reasons' for doing so but as I look back on it all, there has always been an element of feeling somehow swallowed up by the organizational ego because I have a tendency to over identify with whatever organization I am deeply or emotionally involved with. In other words, it has not always been easy for me to be in the world and not of it. It still isn't. The main difference now is how quickly I can catch myself when I do get caught up in it all.

I currently find myself  in the midst of a situation with an organization that not only feels very familiar but where I have recognized a pattern of behaviour which has played out in a way that I am not all that thrilled about. It has been interesting to observe that while some of my behaviour is not what I would have preferred, it is actually the perfect opportunity for me to bring compassion to the egoic pattern and to see that viewed from the larger perspective it is actually perfect. It would appear to be quite a paradox to recognize behaviour that is not in alignment with how I would like to be in the world along with the perfection of how everything is unfolding. It really only happened when the projections were reclaimed and peace was made within. Once this happened there no longer seemed to be any need for justification or blame or judgment based on guilt. It is what it is and all is well.

I have no idea where Life is taking me with this situation. It may be complete for me, it may be just the beginning of something, it may be irrelevant and in the end I really don't know what any of it means. The only thing I can really do is to keep calling the bluff on the beliefs and opening to what is beyond the mists of illusion.


2 comments:

  1. Hi,
    I understand both sides of the paradox which you describe quite well....And I see you are able to be the watcher of these wheels going round and round. I do not agree that the only thing you can really do is is dis-empower the beliefs, be the watcher and be open.

    I collapse all of the above into the sweet simplicity..the answer to all questions..the antidote to all emotional discord..self defeating intentions..the guide to all actions ..all one sweet singularity...Presence...I run on auto pilot..on the edge of a knife,...blindfolded...without beliefs or positions about anything. The storey stops, the world disappears, and I have no idea... I stopped looking for causes...I stopped finding causes. There is nothing to fix.

    So how do I deal with my feelings from my less than ideal behaviour?...I don't look back at it.I refuse to feed hind sight...the meaning of it all disapeared when the context changed.The meaning of life is not a thing which can be understood.Life is experienced.
    Love, Aubrey

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    1. Thanks for your comments Aubrey and for disagreeing with me. There is never just one way to do anything and I appreciate and celebrate that we all find our own unique way to be in life and deal with whatever we are called to.
      Namaste!

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