Rejection or Projection?

Many of us have experienced rejection and abandonment on this journey of life. Abandonment seems to be primal in many ways and I suspect it has something to do with entering the human experience and the inherent illusion of separation that goes with it. I've also noticed that it's one of the core beliefs that when recognized for the illusion it really is leads to a true sense of oneness.

In the unconscious state of separation however, we often say things like I feel abandoned or I feel rejected when the people we may have counted on aren't there for us. But when we look at these concepts a little closer we see that they aren't actually feelings, they're interpretations of what is going on. We find ourselves alone and confused so we interpret that experience to mean we must have been abandoned or rejected somehow; but is that really the truth? Could that be in an inaccurate interpretation of events?

I remember realizing many years ago that what I had been interpreting as rejection and abandonment was really a projection. It was what I was actually doing to myself in my unconscious way of dealing with feelings and emotions. Since then I have witnessed this effect countless times in others. I have also noticed how surprised people are when I point out that the effects of ignoring their inner world of feelings and thoughts is really a form of rejecting and abandoning themselves. It doesn't take long for them to realize the accuracy of that assessment however when they stop and consider it for a moment.

You cannot continually ignore what arises within you and expect to feel wanted and accepted others. If by chance you do, the likelihood of finding ways of rejecting them sooner or later is pretty high. We may be able to fool ourselves for a while but beliefs invariably find a way of being expressed sooner or later. Either we interpret the actions of others to be as we treat ourselves or we treat them that way. To reject or be rejected, that is the question.

If you have had abandonment and rejection issues, I invite you to notice how you treat yourself and see if there's actually a call for a more compassionate and loving way to be with those uncomfortable feelings when they arise. Just a moment or two of being fully present to whatever is going on can make a world of difference. It isn't about spending all your time and attention doing this, just a few seconds to say 'I see you, I understand, I'm here, it's OK'.

Then carry on with your day, letting those from whom you had been expecting that kind of attention off the hook. You'd be surprised how people respond to freedom from demand and projection.

Namaste