Opportunites for A Little Compassion

Life is always presenting opportunities to practice what I preach. One of the essential elements of self-compassion is that it is about being kind to oneself when being less than ideally loving and kind.

I've just had a couple of days of cleaning out my mother's old house from which she moved 3 years ago and has been occupied by my brother until I finally sold it this month (possession date is today). This has been a very difficult situation for everyone for a long time.I eventually stepped in where I did not really care to tread and sold her house for her which meant my brother moving on. This was not easy. Long story short, he had been less than forthcoming about how much he wasn't getting done to clean out the house so the rest of us converged on the scene Sunday to finish the job. We had moved into that house in 1969 and I don't think my mother and brother ever threw much away.

I knew there was a lot of stuff but I had fantasized that most of it would be gone but of course there was still an incredible amount there and the place was filthy. Sunday we got the rest of the stuff out of the house, piling a whole bunch of it in the back yard to be taken to the dump, putting some in storage and bringing more to my brothers tiny little apartment which is full of stuff he couldn't let go of.

We were exhausted by the end of the day and my sister, sister-in-law and I went back yesterday to do some cleaning. I have to admit my thoughts about my brother and mother were not as charitable as I would like at times in this process. I have something of an aversion to housework at the best of times, and these were not what I consider the best of times.  We did get it done though for which we were all grateful at the end of the day.

In the midst of all that and the aches and pains in my body I have to admit I am truly grateful that I had the focus of the Self-Compassion Project to continually bring me back to being gentle with myself. I found in that process that I was also able to find compassion for my mother and brother as well. What is, is. They lived, and continue to live, in the way that is theirs to live and I am part of it whether I really like it or not. Self-compassion reminds me that I don't have to be thrilled about it, and I don't have to stay angry or resentful either. I can bring understanding and compassion to those oh so human tendencies.

Today I am sore all over and I am at peace. I appreciate the way it has all unfolded and that we're all doing the best we can given where we are and all is well.

I've always maintained that the work I share is really for me and this project showed up exactly when I needed it most. Even though I have been working with the process for a long time it's easy to wander off so I really appreciate these particularly focused times. This is a journey after all. The path leads us where it leads us.

Remember, it isn't about doing it all right; it's about being alright with what we do.

Namaste