Self-Compassion

I noticed myself getting caught up in shoulds the other day about something I didn't want but had not given myself permission to say no to. The mind wanted to justify and come up with good reasons all the while rejecting them all. There was a bit of a dissonance going on which all the logic in the world would not bring peace to.

I soon realized that what was really needed was a moment or two of compassion and understanding instead of argument and trying to convince myself of something. The mind quickly settled down then and I was at peace with the way it is for me. It wasn't so much about what I had to do about it as it was about allowing what seems like contradiction to coexist.

I could then see clearly how often seeming contradictions show up in life where the personality thinks it has to be one way or another, not both. One example would be around money. I love doing the work I do, the coaching, the teaching, life celebrations and weddings mainly. I also appreciate and want to be paid for the work I do. There's some bit of programming in this personality however that says I shouldn't think about money, I should do things for nothing all the time, I'm shallow if I think about money, etc. Nothing new there, I even had that running when I had an oilfield supply company. How funny is that?

The point is that there seems to be a contradiction going on between the idea that I should do everything for free and that I want to be well paid.  When I move past the shoulds into the desire beneath it to be of service and to be compassionate the contradiction falls away and the ideas of being of service and being paid can go exist. When I'm not judging myself for being human there is no argument. It's all here, it's all perfect and I can joyfully give things away as well as be paid.

The human condition is full of these contradictions where we tend to be fighting inner battles all the time. Mostly the battles are about the way we should be as opposed to what we may want or think or feel at the moment. Being compassionate toward it all and understanding this is simply the human condition playing out goes a long way in ending the war.

By the way, if you haven't heard about it yet, I've developed a 40 day process called The Self-Compassion Project with this very kind of thing in mind. You can get more info and download the instructions and daily quotes on my website. By the way, it's free!

Namaste