It's been 24 days since I started this latest 40 day focus period. It's been an interesting time of ups and downs and being present then drifting off. I've had lots of physical discomfort in that time and there have been days when I just wanted it all to go away.
That's pretty normal I think and it's no different from the rest of life, just a bit more intense and self-aware. It had been a while since I had done a true focus period and I was a bit rusty so to speak. One thing I found myself doing was focusing on the pain I was experiencing and stopping there; the very thing I had counseled others not to do in the past. I forgot. We do that sometimes, we forget; and then we remember. I suddenly remembered the other night that it wasn't about simply focusing on the pain but rather allowing the pain to be a portal to the awareness of Life/Source (whatever you want to call AllThatIs). It showed up as a memory of being taught that in order to break a board with my hand I had to aim for the table underneath it, not the board. That was a powerful lesson I had learned many years ago and it has served me well including now. So I've been aiming for that which is beyond the pain these past few days and I have been richly rewarded with more of a sense of well being and oneness again.
It's all part of this amazing game, the forgetting, the remembering, feeling connected then disconnected and connected again. A thread runs through it all; it's called my life. It is all happening perfectly and the thread is weaving its own pattern, unique and beautiful.
So it is with all of life; so many interconnected threads creating something that is far beyond human ability to fully comprehend. The mystery continues to call and even though there may be no answer as such, there is the moment and that is where everything intersects. It is enough.